Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)… Enjoy!


* In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the

world, so he took the Sabbath off.

* Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called

Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

* Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

* Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel

like Delilah.

* Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread

which is bread without any ingredients.

* The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses

went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

* The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

* The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand

still and he obeyed him.

* David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with the

Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

* Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

* It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the

tombstone off the entrance.

* The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles

were the wives of the apostles.

* One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

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