Tag Archives: disappointment

Dealing with Disappointment – a personal testimony! (Part 7)

I apologize for the delay in the posting of the final posts on this important matter, but here we are now.

Once again (with reference to the previous post – Part 6):

  • DO NOT park on the negative issues ;
  • Or return to them,
  • Because then you could fall into a vicious circle of going through the negative emotions continually.  
  • And it will destroy you!

The second circle of events (which created the trauma and disappointment) leads you to the third circle, which I have termed:

The Job syndrome (or Satan’s territory).

 The X factor 4

Due to the immense pain and disappointment, you could easily slip into the next phase of emotions, such as:

  • Withdrawal;
  • Self-pity;
  • Fear;
  • Distrust;
  • Backsliding;
  • Covering up your pain with false joy;
  • Losing faith
  • Depression;
  • Bitterness;
  • Hatred;
  • Suicidal – that is exactly where Satan wants you to be! Even if you only regret the day you were born, you are now on dangerous territory.

Do yourself a favor and read through the Book of Job.  See and experience the pain and despair that he went through, but in the end it was his own attitude and self-pity that has prolonged the process that God wanted to achieve in his life.  Even his own friends told him that it was easy for him to provide guidance and advice to other people in the city due to his wisdom, but now that he was in his own pain and predicament, he could not listen to anybody else or to apply what he taught other people.

We all know the phrase: “Practice what you preach”!  And YES – it is the most difficult thing to apply in our own lives. Especially for pastors and other lay-preachers who are busy with counseling and deliverance.  Most of the time the pastors do not have a friendly ear to speak to or to receive counseling and advice from, because who can you trust out there?  First of all, you dare not speak to anybody in the congregation about your problem or pain, because it will run through the congregation like a wild fire.  Other pastors will think less of you, even while they are dealing with the same issues on hand.  They would rather avoid you and refrain from contact than to be there as a friend who would listen and thereafter provide you with sound advice and support.

Notwithstanding any of the above, I have also learned some valuable lessons in this regard and one of them is that the Lord wants us to deal with specific issues in our lives completely on our own – while He is always watching and guiding and protecting!

Let’s take the aspect of Trust in the Lord.  Everyone would say they have faith in the Lord Jesus – but do you also TRUST Him with everything in your life?  And you cannot pray to receive Trust, or study about it.  You have to earn it on your own and through your own experiences.  This is a one-man show with God being the Director of the play.  You receive the test through various trials and tribulations and you learn to trust the Lord purely because there is nothing and nobody else who can (or want to) help you.  This is when you learn to push your faith in front of reality – where the reality of things does not scare you anymore.  Your faith and trust in the Lord needs to became greater than the fear that tries to overwhelm you.  Also read Jeremiah 17:5 – 10 and see the difference between the two scenarios.

Your faith and trust in the Lord needs to become greater

than the fear and reality of the situation

that tries to overwhelm you!

In our situation, we had to trust the Lord completely to not loose our house and all other assets due to the untimely closure of my construction business.   At one stage we were already 30 months behind in payments and the only thing I could do with the summonses from the Bank, was to put in into my Bible at a specific verse and pray about it.  I had to give my problem to the Lord and then trust Him completely to give me a favorable outcome.  And I mean completely because there was no other plan, option or man who could help me.  And the Lord prevailed as we did not loose our house or any other asset, for He is good and faithful.   He is worthy to be trusted because He is no man that could lie.

You know, it is nothing short than a miracle from God when He pushes the reality of a specific situation to the back when we allow faith and trust in Him to reign in our lives.  He specializes in the impossible and nothing is too hard for Him.  If He could let the sun go back ten degrees upon the prayer of one man (2Ki 20:10), what will He not do for you?

The last delivery on this teaching will follow tomorrow. 

 

 

 

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Dealing with Disappointment – a personal testimony! (Part 6)

Let’s look at the following diagrams that the Lord revealed to me about this whole process.  The Word of God says in Ps 23:3 – He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake”

The Hebrew word for “paths” also refers to circles – like life circles of a tree when cut down. Everything in life exists in systems and processes and we go through seasons/ cycles.  Some are good and some are not so good.  But all seasons make the tree stronger to survive.  The problem on hand that we have to face and to address, is the fact that the Church of today is either busy with “condemnation preaching” or “preaching the “good news syndrome”.  With the latter I am referring to the prosperity preaching of churches and pastors who only deal with the “good news” and promises.  They preach and prophecy to their congregations that everything will just be fine when you believe and serve the Lord and provide promises from the Word as if it is a prophecy from God.

When we look at the first circle of life, everything looks fine and there is absolutely no problem on hand: (This is now based upon someone who became born again in Christ): Life seems to be a continuous circle of blessings and favor and relationship in Christ.

The X factor1

 

 

Is this real life or is it just a figment of our imagination of how it should be? BUT what happens in between when it seems everything is going wrong? What happens when it feels God has dumped you on another circle of life – a circle of pain and suffering. A circle of disappointment?  Now this is exactly where the rubber hits the road.

 

 

Remember, disappointment comes in all shapes, sizes and forms.  It also includes trauma such as an unfaithful spouse, divorce, sickness, even death of a loved one, and these days also crime related activities such as a high jacking or armed robbery.   All such things could lead to us feeling disappointed in God and in our fellow man due to the specific situations on hand.  There is a saying that there are only three things in this life that we can be sure of:

  • Death
  • Taxes
  • Change – which of course brings good times but sometimes also disappointment.
    • But I would also like to add another one: We can still be sure of our Lord and Savior for He cares for us!

Therefore we need to learn how to deal with disappointment in our lives.  We have to do it ourselves through the lessons that we learn in the process. And believe me, God is the very Author of it all as He would like to see us come through this as a stronger and wiser child of Him and with more faith.  We need to not only have faith in Him, but also to trust Him completely!

 The X factor 2

In this model with the second circle, we find what I call the “crossing factor”.  There is a fine line between “blessing” and “loss”, between “joy” and “disappointment”.  And we are being forced through our lives to cross over on the second circle for a purpose.  We are sort of compelled to travel on a similar road as Job.  Nobody would chose such a road of suffering, as the trauma and disappointment could be devastating.  It feels like there is just no way out! When will it all stop now?

BUT –  in the end your disappointments and trauma could become a testimony (like mine and my wife’s).  Your testimony could reach someone else who also goes through the same or similar experiences as yourself, which will motivate them to keep on going and to keep the faith.  Dr Bruce Wilkinson recently made the following statement in a seminar that I attended:

“Your giants are a gift from God.  The bigger the giant, the bigger the miracle. The bigger the miracle, the bigger the glory to God.” Therefore, the giants, the trauma and the disappointments we face, all serve to be a platform for Glory to God and a testimony for us.

I also would like to tell you, that it is not so easy to just tell people “to get over their disappointments”it is not so simple as just that.  People who would say this have not yet experienced true disappointment or trauma in their lives.

How do I deal with disappointment then?

  • Do I have specific steps that I can follow?
  • What about all these emotions that overwhelm me?
  • What can I ignore or reject?

Once again, lets look at Scripture:

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith–more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire–may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1Pe 1:6-9 ) 

This verse drives me up the walls when I read that we will be grieved by various trails to test the genuineness of our faith and to obtain the salvation of our souls, which should be the final and ultimate outcome of our faith.  So, we have good news and some bad news:

  • Even if you are a child of God, you cannot escape bad things happening to you;
  • But the victory is on hand and God will never forsake you;
  • YES – absolutely we pay some “school fees” in the learning process and sometimes we have to experience the same learning process more than once.

The X factor 3

When you go through this negative loop, you will experience the same emotions of shock, denial and retreat, anger, disappointment before you will acknowledge the loss. It seems that there is just no other focus.  Why do I feel so miserable? Why do I feel I want to ring someone’s neck – just to feel better? Will this ever stop or not? What must I do?

Believe me when you are in this situation you do not feel capable or even willing to pray.  It feels as if your mind and thoughts are shut up and you cannot focus straight on anything positive.  But the lesson is to learn that the emotions you are going through are normal.  It is embedded in you to deal and to cope with the situation on hand. Unfortunately these emotions are negative and not based upon faith .

No Parking 1

 

The main thing to remember is that you should not park on any of these negative emotions, as it could destroy you and your faith.

DO NOT PARK or dawdle on any of these emotional stations such as shock, denial and retreat, anger, disappointment and even the acknowledgement of the loss – because the latter could result in a pity party.  If you do not deal with the situation and the emotions in faith, you will then slide to the third circle in life – which I call “the Job experience” or “Satan’s territory” .

You will experience the same type of emotions and pity parties and accuse everybody around you of wrong doings, except than to look at your own.  The danger of falling and staying on this circle of life, is that you could end up with extreme bitterness, lack of faith, hatred and even despair and depression, up to the point where you would even consider taking your own life.  And that is exactly the place where Satan wants you to be in the process to fulfill his plan to destroy you (John 10:10), while God intends the process to be one of building you up in faith.  On this circle, we have the same scenario as what we call “the groove and grave scenario”.  You can quite easily get stuck in the same old rut – day in and day out. The only difference between the same old rut (groove) and a grave, is the depth of it.

 So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrivesDon’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. (MSG 1Pe 1:13 – 14)

When we look at the second circle again, which brought about the shake up and disappointment, then we see something else.  When we look in faith and in the Word of God, then we see the purpose of God through this all.  Therefore I call this circle the “Faith Experiences” .  When you encounter personal experiences and profundities with God, it is like a spiritual marker in our lives. This is where:

  • You learn the lessons to help others;
  • The Lord lays a foundation of faith and trust to keep and support you;
  • He builds character and integrity in you;

And this process is not something to fear, but to embrace because it is also here where you will grow spiritually far more than on the first normal circle of life.  It is right here where God will reveal new revelations and teachings to you what nobody else have even heard of.  If you want to know more about the Lord Jesus Christ and want more of His character, you will go through these type of learning experiences .  It is God’s way of building His character and will in us.

Someone said the following:

“The depth and width of your faith experiences are directly proportional to your calling.”

 

 

 

 

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Day to remember: 11 June 2013

Today is the 11th June 2013.  And some of you might wonder what makes this date so significant?

Well, on this day 19 years ago on the 11th June 1994 the Lord Jesus called me to the ministry through two specific dreams and scriptures that He revealed to me, of which my main calling came through on the night of the 11th.  It was just more than 2 years after the Lord has given me and my wife another chance to serve Him as children of God.

During this time we were already involved with youth ministry at a local church in Pretoria, but never suspected to be called for the ministry.  My dreams and passion were to sell everything, resign my day job and go farming.  But the Lord had something else in mind for our lives.

Five years afterwards, we bought a small church building in Danville of Pretoria in faith and after months of struggling to get this property registered in our names, it was eventually registered  – on the 11th June 1999The number 5 stands for Grace.  It was Grace indeed that has brought us thus far and to be able to minister the Word of God to people.  It was and is and will be a privilege to do so until the Lord returns.

Now, today it is 19 years ago that this marvelous thing happened to me – to be called to the ministry, and the number 19 stands for Faith according to the Word of God. (Also refer to the Arithmetic of God on this website).  We have gone through a terrible period in our lives where we doubted our prayers and faith, our calling and even in the promises of God.  But He is faithful and He came through for us in the most critical period of our lives. God took us on a road which I call “Faith Experiences” to strengthen our faith and trust in Him and in Him alone.  It is not fun and games on such a road, but He builds character and integrity in you during this time so that your faith will never fail.  In the end we have a testimony through which we can built and support other people again.

In the near future I will finish our testimony about “dealing with disappointment” and post it on our website and I know it will help and support someone out there who is dealing and struggling with this aspect.  Stay with the Lord and trust Him alone!  He is worthy of your trust and you are worthy to receive His love, because He also died for you on the cross.

I also want to thank my wife Venetia who stood with me during these testing times and who are also completely sold out to the Gospel of Jesus Christ like myself.  We are not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Together we stand firm and serve Jesus with all of our hearts, all of our minds and all of our strengths and even with all of our material blessings.

Praise be unto the Lord of lords, and King of kings!

 

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Thought 10

Yesterday we began fasting from the thought, “It’s not fair. God’s not fair.”

There was much more that I wanted to give you to empower you over this wrong way of thinking, so I continue today.

Our concept of God shapes how we view ourselves, our life, and those around us. A wrong concept of God also shapes our expectations. If we believe He is weak, then we will not expect His power in our lives. If we believe He is distant and uncaring, then we will not expect His intervention in our time of need.

When you discover what He is really like, you become invincible. Daniel 11:32 declares, “Those who KNOW their God shall be strong and do exploits.” When you see Him for who He is, you realize there is nothing He wouldn’t do for you. You realize that when life isn’t fair, God is still good, and He knows how to make up for whatever wrong has been done by you or against you.

Let’s continue to obliterate the thought that says “it’s not fair.” And let’s believe in a God who knows how to RIGHT every WRONG!

1. Believe in the God of restoration. Joel 2:23-25 says, “I will restore to you the years that have been eaten.” No matter how unfair life has been to you, God is in the restoration business. He will make up to you for lost time, if you believe this promise. Get this in your thinking: He will restore YEARS!

2. Meditate on Psalm 23:6 which says, “Surely goodness and mercy to FOLLOW you all the days of your life. Think on this word: SURELY. It leaves no doubt; no question. IT WILL HAPPEN.

3. See things through the eyes of eternity. (Colossians 3:1-4) In Luke 21:1-4, the rich Pharisees seemingly gave more money; but from God’s point of view, the widow gave more than all of them, because she gave all she had to live on. She saw eternity. She is being rewarded in heaven. The poem goes: “Only one life will soon be past—only what’s done for Christ will last.” Live with eternal purpose. Measure your choices by how they will affect eternity, and how important they are to heaven. The rest of the poem goes: “And when I’m dying, how happy I’ll be, if the lamp of my life has burned out FOR THEE.”

4. Realize misfortune and disappointment don’t have control over you. It’s how you respond to these things that determine the outcome of your life—both here on earth and in eternity.

5. FOCUS on the good God has done in your life. (Psalm 103:1-5) RECOGNIZE what you’ve been given is a gift to serve others with. 1 Peter 4:10. Use what God has done in your life to bring others to a higher place in God.

6. Promotion comes from above. (Psalm 75:7) No matter how far down life has tried to put you; no matter how far down the devil has tried to push you, God is the God of promotion. He will raise you up, if you trust Him. He will exalt you, as you humble yourself. It’s pride—to accept defeat. Humility accepts what God says. (James 1:21) Expect to be raised up above the unfair treatment this life brings.

THINK IT & SAY IT:

I believe in the God of restoration. He will restore to me all the years that have been destroyed in my life, by the devil, by how I’ve been treated, and by my bad decisions. I expect goodness and mercy to follow me ALL the days of my life. It will SURELY happen. I choose to live with eternal purpose. What I do for Jesus is what will echo in eternity–that’s how I choose to live. Whatever has happened to me will not control my life. The outcome of my life is determined by the choices I make—and my choices will line up with God’s Word. I expect promotion to come to my life, because I humble myself and receive what God says about me. No matter what this life tries to bring me, God will raise me up above it. He is more than fair. He is more than enough. And when life’s not fair, God more than makes up for it in my life, in Jesus’ name.

The Fast from wrong thinking is a revolutionary approach to identify and conquer thought patterns, mindsets and mentalities at work to defeat you. Over 50,000 people have joined. You can find archives and videos at

fromtheinsideout.us that will further help change you from the inside out built on the foundation of God’s Word

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