{"id":244,"date":"2009-02-10T15:33:54","date_gmt":"2009-02-10T13:33:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/galmin.co.za\/myblog\/?p=244"},"modified":"2009-02-10T15:33:54","modified_gmt":"2009-02-10T13:33:54","slug":"how-to-survive-a-shark-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/?p=244","title":{"rendered":"How to survive a shark attack"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"shark-week-mythbusters04\"Some tips to survice a shark attack!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1: Don`t swim in the ocean.<\/strong>
\nNinety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large
\nbodies of water also known as oceans.
\nThe way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the
\nwater, which should be salty.<\/span><\/p>\n

2: Listen out for the music.<\/strong>
\nIn the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen
\ncarefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvellous documentary
\nfilm Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the “daah-da, daah-da”
\nchords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer.
\nThis is due to the Doppler Effect.<\/p>\n

3: Swim with fat people.<\/strong>
\nTry to surround yourself with more appetizing companions.
\nIf you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion
\nwith A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.<\/p>\n

4: Don`t go into the water without a knife.<\/strong>
\nThis is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy)
\nclosest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the
\n“decoy” is bleeding profusely…..swim for your life.
\nAnd finally…..<\/p>\n

5: Don`t panic.<\/strong>
\nIn the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This
\nreally won`t help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will
\nappreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can
\nreally spoil a wonderful day out! \u00a0Remember it’s not always about you ..!<\/p>\n

Thanks to Lorraine for this one!<\/strong><\/em>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n