{"id":2658,"date":"2013-11-26T10:22:57","date_gmt":"2013-11-26T08:22:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/?p=2658"},"modified":"2013-11-26T10:22:58","modified_gmt":"2013-11-26T08:22:58","slug":"dealing-with-disappointment-a-personal-testimony-part-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/?p=2658","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with disappointment &#8211; a personal testimony Part 8"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Where do I begin to deal with disappointment and trauma?<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p>Everything starts and ends with <b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">choices <\/span><\/b>we make. It also concerns our attitudes towards the problem that we need to deal with.\u00a0 You have to do this on your own as the Lord will not interfere with our free will.\u00a0\u00a0Here is a quick step guideline:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Deal<\/span><\/b> with the situation and also the emotions with faith.\u00a0 Bind it in faith and in the name of Jesus Christ so that it will no longer have a negative effect on you. Use the tools from the Word of God.\u00a0 Deal with the three aspects of the trauma and disappointment:\n<ul>\n<li><b><i>The event itself; <\/i><\/b><i><\/i><\/li>\n<li><b><i>The pain and emotions linked to it; <\/i><\/b><i><\/i><\/li>\n<li><b><i>The shame or any negative cloud that may overwhelm you\u00a0 <\/i><\/b><i><\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Repent <\/span><\/b>where necessary and receive forgiveness. From God and man.<\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Forgive<\/span><\/b> and set people free from any wrong doing so that you can be set free.<\/li>\n<li>Even forgive God if you experience bitterness or resentment towards Him.<\/li>\n<li>Forgive yourself of the bad choices you have made in the past.<\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Refocus<\/span><\/b> on your relationship and service in the Lord and sort out any negative attitude.\u00a0 Start to worship and praise the Lord and get involved with positive things.<\/li>\n<li><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Make a positive choice<\/span><\/b> not to allow any negative feelings\/emotions to stay attached to you.\u00a0 Allow the Spirit of God to guide you through this process especially when you have to forgive someone of wrong doing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Personal Testimony of the power of forgiveness: <\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p>A couple of months after the\u00a0 Lord has given me this lesson on how to handle disappointment, my first test came when I had to forgive and set the people free that was part and parcel involved in this whole process.\u00a0(Refer to Part 1 and 2 of this series)<\/p>\n<p>Due to the distance between us, they being in the USA and myself in South Africa, I decided to write them a personal letter of forgiveness.\u00a0 But looking back and reading the letter again, I can only now sense that the pain and bitterness of the whole event was still very much being embedded in that letter.\u00a0 At least it has set the process starting and it did clear my mind and thoughts to some extent.<\/p>\n<p>My brother in the Lord from the USA came through to South Africa earlier in the year, and we arranged for a meeting.\u00a0 The first meeting did not go well at all and somewhere during this time we spend together, we just traded \u201cspiritual blows\u201d to one another and accusations of mutual wrong doings. At least we could agree that we should have another meeting before he leaves for the USA again.<\/p>\n<p>The night before our second meeting, my wife asked me if I am ready for this meeting the following morning.\u00a0 I said yes and no.\u00a0 YES, I am prepared with all of my emails that I have send to him over the last 2 years as proof of my innocence, but NO I am not spiritually ready to talk to him.\u00a0\u00a0At that moment in time I was still geared up and willing to <i>\u201cwring his neck\u201d <\/i>so as to speak because of the pain and disappointment that we (and so many other people as well) experienced through his decision to terminate our involvement in the Foundation projects.<\/p>\n<p>Even though I had forgiven him nearly a year before, I knew that I still had a problem in this regard the moment when the real test of forgiveness came.\u00a0\u00a0The Lord has dealt with me numerous times on the point of forgiveness, to such an extent that I think I can now write the manual on it.\u00a0 But each and every time, He takes it a bit further and deeper.\u00a0 Later in this teaching you will find out why He does it!<\/p>\n<p>At our early morning meeting, we exchanged courteous greetings and ordered breakfast. It is also a good way to start off such a meeting as it settles the emotions and brings a sense of \u201cforced peace\u201d, because we are sitting in a public place and therefore have to act like civilized people. Right at that moment in time, the Lord clearly showed me the problem on hand of the danger to form assumptions. Usually our assumptions are all wrong as it is formed from our sub-conscious, and if that is negative or prone to be negative from past experiences, then the very next one to be formed, will be wrong as well.\u00a0\u00a0Right at that moment I experienced the awesome power from the Lord where He equips and empowers you to deal with a specific situation.\u00a0 When we ask and then also allow Jesus to be present in our lives in all situations, He always comes through for us at the right time. It was like a flood of His love and peace and through the power of His Spirit, I could look my brother in the eye and first of all acknowledge for who he is in the Lord and what I have learned from him and his ministry during our years of fellowship. \u00a0I praised the Lord for our previous fellowship and also blessed him in his future ministry.\u00a0 Thereafter he also did the same and we stood up and greeted each other with a good hug. When I left, I felt at complete peace with him again and with myself.\u00a0 I also knew I was only now ready for a new beginning in my ministry.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Power of forgiveness: <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Never do underestimate the power of forgiveness.\u00a0 When you can forgive someone else, you are <strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">becoming Christ-like.<\/span><\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 But I must add &#8211; forgive unconditionally!\u00a0 We cannot hold anything back.\u00a0When you are able to do this, you are experiencing exactly the same emotions and compassion that Jesus did as He forgave the people who crucified Him.\u00a0 <b><i>\u201cFather, forgive them, for they don\u2019t know what they are doing<\/i><\/b>\u201d Luke 23:34 (<b>NLV)\u00a0 <\/b>We\u00a0 so easily sing that the Lord should change us, to be more and more like Jesus, but when we come to this point where we have to forgive someone who do not deserve it, then it becomes very difficult.<b>\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n<p>I usually mention it to people who need to forgive other people, that <span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">forgiveness<\/span> <\/strong><\/span>and <span style=\"color: #3366ff; text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>grace<\/strong> <\/span>are the two <strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><em>most unfair <\/em>words <\/span><\/strong>in this world.\u00a0 Because you have to give it to people who do not deserve it!\u00a0 Sometimes we like to move back under the LAW &#8211; &#8220;<strong><em>an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth&#8221;.<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 We want so desperately to give pain for pain and injustice received.\u00a0 Unfortunately history shows that this method is not the solution &#8211; it only enlarges the problem and starts a process off which we can call: <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong><em>&#8220;The vicious circle&#8221;.\u00a0<\/em> <\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And when this happens, nobody would be the winner.\u00a0The fight\u00a0and personal attacks would only get bigger like a consuming fire and it will\u00a0destroy all involved.\u00a0 The only thing that will change is the methods, the level of attack and the\u00a0pain growing bigger. Eventually people in a marriage will then split when they run out of ammo &#8211; meaning they do not\u00a0have any new strategy of attack that they can launch at each other.\u00a0 When this happens, they tend to stay bitter and angry at each other for many years which\u00a0negatively\u00a0affects the children from the marriage.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><em><strong>What is the point to forgive someone from a wrong doing if he\/she deserves it?<\/strong><\/em><\/span> Then it is not forgiveness through grace anymore!<b>\u00a0 <\/b>The Lord usually deals with the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">offended party<\/span> to give the forgiveness to the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">offender<\/span> who does not deserve it!<b> The same what He did to you and me! He has forgiven us even when we did not know Him and most of all did not deserve it! <\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">So next time<\/span><\/b><b> <\/b>when the lord speaks to you to forgive, listen up and do it with everything you have in you.\u00a0 You can follow this simple process:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Write a letter to the Lord Jesus and explain the whole incident(s) to Him. <b>\u00a0<\/b>Yes, I know it sounds stupid because He already knows everything, but the thing is it will help you to remember every fine bit of the event(s) and the pain and emotions involved;<\/li>\n<li>Write everything that is in your heart as if you are now speaking to the Lord about the problem and the pain it has caused you;<\/li>\n<li>When you are finished, then pray about each incident and person involved.\u00a0 Forgive each one by name by just simply stating that you <em>\u201cforgive so and so in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ for this specific event or incident\u201d<\/em> that has taken place in your life.<\/li>\n<li>Speak up in an audible voice as you would speak to another person because you also need to hear the words that you are now forgiving this person in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and is setting him\/her free.<\/li>\n<li>If you still experience bitterness or any other negative emotions or thoughts about someone, then repeat the prayer and say the words of forgiveness again, until you can feel the flood of love and peace coming through;<\/li>\n<li>If you have been molested or even raped by another person, or a relationship or a marriage has ended in a bitter divorce settlement, it would also be wise to cut the <b><i>soul ties<\/i><\/b> with this person.\u00a0 This is also only a prayer away where you acknowledge the soul tie between you and the other person, and then cut it <i>\u201cthrough the power of the Holy Spirit and with the Sword of the Word in the name of Jesus Christ.\u201d\u00a0 <\/i>You can also do further study on this topic or write to us by leaving a comment in the box below and we will provide you with more info.<i>\u00a0 \u00a0<\/i><\/li>\n<li>Allow the Spirit of God to lift up any other incident or situation that you need to deal with.\u00a0 Forgive and set people free and you will also be set free through this process.<\/li>\n<li>When you are finished, then you need to deal with the emotions and the pain. Ask the Lord Jesus to take it away and fill you with His love.<\/li>\n<li>Deal with the shame of any situation by giving it up to the Lord. Turn your shame into a testimony so that the stronghold from Satan on you through the shame can be broken off.\u00a0 Once you have confessed your sins and mistakes, then accept the forgiveness of God.\u00a0 It is a done deal. <b>If you confess, He forgives!<\/b> \u00a0(1 John 1:9-10)<\/li>\n<li>Then \u2013 go and burn that piece of paper (the letter that you wrote) as it is all gone and forgotten.\u00a0 Do not keep a copy on your computer.<\/li>\n<li>Refocus on a new vision to serve the Lord.\u00a0 Write it down if you want to and keep it to track your new progress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>My advice to you is that you first go through this process as described above before you want to speak to a person who you feel is at fault.\u00a0 Get your thoughts straight and your heart in line with God.\u00a0 <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>Do not:<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Expect a desired result from this that the person(s) involved will all of a sudden now confess their wrongdoings against you.\u00a0 In most cases the people involved do not understand forgiveness and therefore will not even give you the time of day. They could even go further and try to upset you by saying something stupid or degrading again;<\/li>\n<li>Do not allow your emotions to run wild and lead you; Stay focused and do what needs to be done;<\/li>\n<li>Try to weigh or measure your fault against the other parties fault as this is a futile exercise.\u00a0 Forgiveness means to release the other party from all\u00a0guilt and wrongdoing irrespective of the size or volume of it.<\/li>\n<li>Allow yourself to be pulled in by the other party in another fight or mudslinging.\u00a0 In some cases they will even try to attack your <strong><em>&#8220;Christian-ship&#8221; <\/em><\/strong>by pointing out flaws in your life.\u00a0 Remember, if you have repented your sins before God, then your ARE forgiven and NOBODY has the right to dig them out again.\u00a0 Confess your wrongdoings to the other party where necessary but merely as a recognition of the fact and that it belongs to the past, because you have been forgiven by God already and therefore the party in question should also now forgive you.\u00a0 If they don&#8217;t want to then it would remain to be their problem and not yours anymore.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Go and forgive someone.\u00a0 Get rid of the bitterness and negative emotions.\u00a0 Forgiveness will set you free in more ways than one.\u00a0 It will completely change your life and circumstances.\u00a0 It will even save your marriage and you will be blessed.\u00a0 There is a slogan that reads: <em>Life is a journey!<\/em>\u00a0 But I want to change it to:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><em><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Forgiveness is part of life &#8211; so enjoy the journey!<\/span> <\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class='wp_likes' id='wp_likes_post-2658'><a class='like' href=\"javascript:wp_likes.like(2658);\" title='Like' ><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.galmin.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-likes\/images\/like.png?w=750&#038;ssl=1\" alt='' border='0'\/><\/a><span class='text'><b>2<\/b> people like this post.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class='like' ><a href=\"javascript:wp_likes.like(2658);\">Like<\/a><\/div>\n<div class='unlike' ><a href=\"javascript:wp_likes.unlike(2658);\">Unlike<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where do I begin to deal with disappointment and trauma? Everything starts and ends with choices we make. It also concerns our attitudes towards the problem that we need to deal with.\u00a0 You have to do this on your own as the Lord will not interfere with our free will.\u00a0\u00a0Here [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[696,568,691,99,692,694,693,695],"class_list":["post-2658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inzpired","tag-choices-in-life","tag-dealing-with-disappointment","tag-dr-eric-j-heath","tag-forgiveness","tag-get-rid-of-bitterness","tag-personal-testimony","tag-steps-of-forgiveness","tag-vicious-circle"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9rp4V-GS","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2658"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2659,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658\/revisions\/2659"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galmin.co.za\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}